The importance of STD testing

Want to ask your boyfriend to get tested but unsure what to say, how to go about it?

Before asking, it is important to understand that while your intention might be in the right direction — taking joint responsibility for protecting the sexual health of both parties in the relationship — there could be some sensitivities to the conversation:

STD testing is something no guy wants to think about. Many guys feel awkward, and avoidance or dodging the conversation spares facing an awkward topic.

Being asked to test could feel offensive. Your boyfriend could feel like you’re assuming or accusing him of having a reckless past with someone else.

Importantly, many people – guys and girls alike - may not understand the importance of testing. STDs are America’s biggest epidemic no one is talking about. While the statistics are scary, the good news is: the epidemic is solvable. It comes down to talking about it: “Test First, Sex Later.”

When you ask your boyfriend to test, remember where he may be coming from if he pushes back.

Overcoming a lack of knowledge about STDs is an important step in creating the concern & motivation to test. If you feel that you don’t have enough knowledge on the topic to convince him of the problem, check out the many stories provided here on TESTFIRST about the STD epidemic. Share the story about the new Super Gonorrhea – it’s scary! (And don’t let him try to convince you that condoms are the answer.*)

Also remember the stereotype that guys don’t like to go to the doctor. The list of reasons can go on and on… too busy to make an appointment and go, uncomfortable about body exams, awkward personal questions from the doctor… Well, we have good news! There is no longer a reason not to test. The internet provides access to a wide array of options and to make the decision process even easier, you can visit STD Test Compare to find out what's right for you and your partner.

When you ask your boyfriend to test, suggest that you both share a recent STD test result. If you don’t have yours, you should get tested too. Express that you want to make sure you are both safe, that you care about your own safety and his as well.

So, now that you understand some of the typical barriers to convincing guys to get tested, the conversation may be easier.

If you're looking for a more clever way of asking, have a look at some of our conversation starters. Maybe there’s one you’ll want to share as a Test First icebreaker…

*Why condoms are not the solution:

Latex condoms offer very good protection against HIV and reduce the risk of [some] other sexually transmitted infections. However your bodies are still touching, wearing a condom won't prevent HPV and herpes transmission. You can get HPV and herpes through skin-to-skin contact. Same goes for oral sex, since some of these viruses can live in both the throat/tongue and the genitals.